Flywheel Mama

This post was inspired by a recent conversation I had with a co-worker returning from maternity leave, trying to figure out the best daycare options in the San Francisco Bay Area for her baby.

One of the most important questions every couple needs to answer before getting busy and pregnant is childcare. The immediate next question after deciding to have children is: who will take care of the baby?

Most families living in the SF Bay Area require dual incomes to sustain a high-quality lifestyle or standard of living. Single-income families typically designate one parent as the primary caregiver.

I knew I couldn’t be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) because I wanted to continue pursuing my career as a marketing professional, I love what I do, and I couldn’t envision taking care of my children 24/7. (Cheers to the mamas who do that wholeheartedly!)

So I had to choose a childcare option that was compatible with my career goals, and turn it into a win-win solution.

Start Your Childcare Search Early in the Bay Area

Finding good childcare in the Bay Area can be challenging due to high demand from other working parents seeking 8-5 care while they work. My husband and I knew we needed childcare since our families didn’t live nearby. We couldn’t rely on grandparents for Frank, our first child, even if they lived close.

If you are delaying your search like I did, remember: touring daycares with your baby in arms is too late. Start researching early, ideally before your third trimester, because other priorities will certainly emerge.

Daycare Centers

Daycare centers are super reliable because even if a teacher got sick, the daycare has backup teachers who can take care of your kid. These backup teachers are usually teachers that float from class to class so they’d already know your kid. If they need more teachers, they’d just call in a substitute teacher from another branch or from the regional branch. They follow strict state rules and regulations, which can be both protective and restrictive (ie. sending children home at slightest sickness). They also have standardized learning plans that teachers must follow for each class and cannot stray from those plans.

The main limitation of daycare centers is that they are for-profit at the end of the day; they will pack each classroom with as many kids as they legally can, or move kids to a higher class if they are not ready yet. Your kid may not get as much attention from teachers. Though you are reassured to always have a teacher taking care of your kid, the turnover rate could be high because the teachers can get burnt out.

Montessori Daycare/School

Similar to daycare centers but with mixed-age classrooms, Montessori environments allow children to learn at their own pace, encouraging exploration and independence.

Choosing between a regular daycare center and Montessori boils down to:

1/What’s the kid’s personality? For example, your kid may thrive better at a Montessori if they prefer doing exploring and learning at their own pace.

2/How do the parents feel about the free-range learning style vs. structured learning?

In-home Daycares

In-home daycares with permits provide more flexibility, a mom-and-pop shop type of feeling. The in-home daycares usually have 1-2 caregivers and will accept anywhere between 4-12 kids at a time. The caregiver-to-child ratio is higher in in-home daycares because they’d care for kids of mixed ages.

Having a small-sized group, in-home daycares may provide more attention to your kid, and the caregiver will have a stake in the kid because it is very likely they are the daycare owner. Similar to Montessori schools, your kid may learn more by following older kids and less structured learning. In-home daycares may be more cost-effective.

Though in-home daycares with permits still need to follow daycare rules and regulations, how they operate is highly dependent on the owner. Parents need to be keep in mind not only the learning environment but also the safety of the kid. Consider questions like who visits the home during care and who else has access to your child.

Nannies

Hiring a nanny tends to be the most expensive option, but you will have more control over what and how your kid’s nurtured. You get to hand-pick the nanny that will be responsible to nurture your kid, ensure their beliefs and ways of caring are similar to yours, and know that they will execute your plans. And most importantly, you will be assured that your kid will receive the nanny’s undivided attention.

Hiring a nanny, however, can take a long process. There are nannies out there with varied caregiving experiences, so the quality of nannies is varied. To add to the complexity, the quality of nannies is also dictated by how much you are willing or can afford to pay. For example, a nanny asking $20/hr and a nanny asking $35/hr boils down to their experience. So you may need to be flexible with available nannies and their experiences.

Just like how you are trying to find a nanny that fits your family’s needs, the nanny’s are also looking for a family that meets their needs. For example, how far will they have to commute to your house every day, how many hours they will and can work per week, how many kids will they have to take care of, and what are the additional responsibilities they’d have to take on.

There’s an unspoken network where seasoned nannies are rare and they are snagged as soon as they are available. But sometimes you might just get lucky and find a diamond in the rough – a nanny that’s compatible to your family.

If you choose to hire a nanny, you will also have to consider setting up their payroll, health insurance, and PTO. This is one more thing that you’d have to deal with during tax season.

Nanny Share

For cost savings, nanny share programs allow you to split a nanny’s time with 1-2 other families. You will have to share the nanny with one or two other families living in the area. Your kids will be able to interact with other kids their age while you know that you have other parents that are going through similar parenting experiences.

Keep in mind that the nanny will have to take care of multiple children, so your kid will not have their undivided attention. In addition, you will need to consider the other parents’ parenting styles and see how compatible they are with your own style. Finally, you’ll have to consider whether you are open to having your kid at someone else’s house or if you have enough room in your house to ‘house’ additional kids during the day, especially if you are working from home (WFH).

Grandma and Grandpa

Having grandparents taking care of your kids is very convenient if they are local. It also may be the most cost-effective childcare option if the grandparents are already retired and don’t need you to pay them wages. You’ll be assured that your kids will be safe, fed, and taught.

However, having grandparents taking care of your kids can also add complexity to family dynamics. They’ll be around 24/7, you may not agree with their outdated parenting style, and you may bump heads with them on anything. For example, should babies be swaddled to sleep? Should babies use baby powder or ointment to reduce diaper rashes?

For a detailed comparison and the option I ultimately chose, read my full childcare decision blog here.

Keep the momentum going,
Flywheel Mama